The Sassy Housewife is a weekly Saturday advice column on momaha.com by Danielle Herzog, a married mother of two. She’ll cover adventures in housewifery — parenting, entertaining and the interests of a been-there-done-that and somewhat-know-it-all wife.
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Dear Sassy Housewife,
I have one of those husbands who think that all women should dress sexy. I’m a stay-at-home mom to three kids and every night he is disappointed that I am wearing sweatpants or jeans. He tells me that I should show a little cleavage or leg and that I should make more efforts to look attractive for him. I’m tired of feeling not sexy enough for him but can’t imagine walking around all day in a lacy push up bra. Help!
Not Bringing Sexy Back
There is a simple solution to this problem. Tell him that when he starts looking like a Calvin Klein model every day, then you’ll start walking around like one of those Victoria Secret angels. Seems fair to me.
Look, there is a time and place for sexiness. And honestly, I don’t think it has to be through clothes most times. I think it is sexy to send your man a saucy text in the middle of the day. Of course, if he has an assistant that reads his texts for him, that’s probably not advisable. I also think it is sexy to show confidence and being an awesome mother – even if that is in sweatpants or jeans.
However, there does come a point where you need to take the sweatpants off every once in a while. Don’t get me wrong, I have fantasies about having a zipper on my sweatpants so I can get frisky with my husband without ever having to actually take the pants off. However, he vetoed that idea very quickly, and probably with good reason.
Honestly though, I don’t think your situation is actually about looking sexy all the time. I think your husband probably wants you to be more interested in actually having sex. Maybe he wants to see you initiate more. Maybe he misses the girl you were before the sweatpants and kids. So I think it’s a good thing to take off the sweatpants from time to time. You don’t have to walk around all day looking sexy – geez, he doesn’t see you when he is at work so there is no reason to go wasting your sexy clothes on mom play dates. However, maybe after the kids go to bed, try pulling out that lingerie that has dust bunnies on it and show him your confidence. And maybe even schedule a date night out together where you might find yourself wanting to show that cleavage or leg he’s been asking for.
Trust me girl, a little goes a long way. And if all else fails, perhaps look into getting a patent for that sweatpants with a zipper idea of mine. I might buy them if you do. For a friend, of course.
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