The Sassy Housewife is a weekly Saturday advice column on momaha.com by Danielle Herzog, a married mother of two. She’ll cover adventures in housewifery — parenting, entertaining and the interests of a been-there-done-that and somewhat-know-it-all wife.
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Dear Sassy Housewife,
I’m a single mom to two kids who are ages 9 and 7. Their father isn’t in the picture at all, and I’m raising them all by myself with the support of family and friends. I’m writing because I’ve been single now for three years and am feeling ready to have someone in my life. I don’t go to bars and am afraid of the online dating scene. So how do I meet someone when I have no idea how to date as an older woman with kids?
Mojo Needing Mama
Dear Mojo Mama,
When you are older with kids, dating is a different ballgame. You don’t want to put a player up to bat unless you believe they are capable of hitting a home run, right? You’re not putting together a team for Bad News Bears here so you have to be particular. With that said, dating is all about putting yourself out there. Unless you believe the pizza delivery man is your dream partner, you are going to have to go out of your comfort zone a bit.
That doesn’t mean slap on some go-go boots and red lipstick and hit the club scene (Save that look for your third or fourth date.) However, let friends and family know that you are interested in meeting someone. They know you best so they might have someone who would be a great date for you.
Also, start paying attention to the places you go to. You don’t want to pretend to do things that aren’t in your regular life just to land a man. So if you like exercising, try finding a running or biking group to join. Also, there are many groups for single parents as well – this is a great way to meet someone who can easily relate to your situation.
I also wouldn’t dismiss online dating. There are sites now just for single parents, and even sites geared to certain religions or sexual preferences. And the nice thing is that you can weed out the folks that don’t sound like a match just by the click of a button. I always appreciate activities that I can do in my warm fuzzy pajamas.
However, at the end of the day, no one is going to approach you unless you seem approachable. Go try some new activities that you have always wanted to try. Go have fun in your life and show the world your confidence – that is the sexiest quality in a woman, I believe. And as for your kids, if that’s a deal breaker for a guy than it’s a good thing you find out from the beginning. You want a man who will love them as much as he loves you – and there are plenty of those out there, you just have to show the world that you are ready to love by loving yourself, and then you’ll be surprised at how many folks take notice.
Have a question for the Sassy Housewife? Email firstname.lastname@example.org.
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