As I type this blog, I’m thinking of all the paraphernalia I’m supposed to be pawning off on my friends, neighbors, and relatives in an effort to reduce the collective price tag for two boys playing football, basketball and baseball simultaneously.
Talk about buyer’s remorse.
I’m realizing that I just let another day slip by knowing full well I have a limited amount of time to carry out my sales strategy.
I’m thinking of the ridiculous “Not I!” arguments my husband and I have every year around this time.
I have downed approximately half a dozen chocolate bars (milk, crispy, almond, caramel) in the name of helping out my sons’ football teams.
I’ve sent those same boys door-to-door throughout our neighborhood. My fourth grader (the salesman) along with his sixth-grade brother (the eye roller) have donned their jerseys and given it the ol’ college try.
I have casually left order magazines in abandoned cubicles of my workplace and secretly spread the rumor that frozen food, jewelry, and candy are up for grabs. Never once have I uttered the phrase, “fundraiser” because that would be against company policy.
I’ve set up an online ordering profile and conveniently dropped in a photo of my husband and our two sons. Basketball, after all, is their sport so they should own it. All of it. The good, the bad, and the solicit-y.
I’ve withheld the urge to scratch my eyes out at the thought of getting ready for bake and garage sale seasons, which have already started, a mere six months in advance of baseball season.
The mirror holds a reflection of a weary mom who looks overwhelmed. One who feels like a failure because she knows she will inevitably pen a personal check to cover the costs of her own slackerdom.
I’m wondering if there are other moms who, upon reading this post, are crying out, “I hear ya, sister! I am worthless too!”
Part of me wants to start a mass movement against all fundraising. I can picture it now: Thousands of moms huddled into alliances shredding order forms and tossing them into a raging fire built from the overpriced candles they were supposed to sell while they dance around the flames waving their arms into the air.
Would you join my movement? Can someone start a petition for me?
I need to run to the store quick to pick up two dozen “baked” cookies for this weekend.
Hey…they were baked at one time.