The Sassy Housewife is a weekly Saturday advice column on momaha.com by Danielle Herzog, a married mother of two. She’ll cover adventures in housewifery — parenting, entertaining and the interests of a been-there-done-that and somewhat-know-it-all wife.
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Dear Sassy Housewife,
This is going to sound silly but I had to write anyway. I’m a first time mom to an 8 month-old baby girl. I recently joined a small mommy play group that has five mothers who get together each week. One of the mother’s threw a birthday party for her baby’s first birthday and invited all the other mothers but me. I know I’ve only been going to the group for a few weeks, but my feelings were still hurt. Now I’m not sure I even want to meet with the group anymore, and I’m not sure what to do. Am I being ridiculous?
One Perturbed Play date
Are you being ridiculous? Well, not if you were in middle school.
A bit harsh? You sound a little childish. Listen to what you’re saying about being invited to a child’s party. It’s no different than saying, “Well, if you won’t invite me, I’m going to just take my ball and play in someone else’s yard.”
I get that your feelings were hurt. No one likes to feel left out.
However, she might not have intentionally been leaving you out.
Let’s look at the facts: You’ve only been in the group for a few weeks. She might not consider you as good of a friend as the other women who have been in the group longer. It sounds like the group opened the door to a new person joining their group — so baby steps might be needed.
My advice: be excited to hear about the birthday party. Heck, maybe even give the little one a card or toy at the next get together. Show them that you are happy to have them as new friends and not bitter about not receiving an invitation. I’ve come to learn that killing people with kindness goes much farther in life than always confronting and putting people on the defense.
You might even consider yourself lucky.
There is truly nothing worse than a bunch of toddlers running around screaming at a party. Perhaps those ladies were actually trying to save you from that misery.
I’m thinking a thank you gift might be more appropriate for that mom instead of a birthday present for her little one.
Have a question for the Sassy Housewife? Email firstname.lastname@example.org.
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