While doing my daily or should I say maybe hundredth check of Facebook in one day, I noticed a link to an article in Glamour magazine about marriage.
The title caught my eye: “You Can Cheat Once A Year, Honey”
Now listen, I’m a traditional girl. I don’t wear white pants after Labor Day. I match throw pillows for my couch. And, yes, I have a marriage where we only have sex with each other. Crazy, I know.
Before you go saying there are different strokes for different folks, let me ask you something.
If you were told you couldn’t do something, would that be an incentive in itself to do it?
The couple this article focuses on says yes.
Masha Lopatova, a Russian pop-star and wife of professional basketball player Andrei Kirilenko of the Brooklyn Nets, claims that if you say something is off limits, then that is the exact action the person will want to do. She believes that one of the reasons she’s been married for 13 years is the fact that they leave the door open for each of them to cheat once a year, even though neither has actually ever acted on it, to the other’s knowledge.
My issue: Why stand in front of your family and friends and pledge fidelity to each other and then open yourselves up to one fling once a year?
I do believe in different strokes for different folks. Heck, if you want to play doctor and nurse to all hours of the morning, be my guest. If you both agree to wear pleather and play dominatrix, I don’t care in the least. I don’t care what gender you marry or if you decide marriage isn’t for you at all.
But I have a problem with a person mocking the ability to be monogamous and happy – as one entity.
Another issue I have with the wife quoted is that she compares monogamy to pizza.
“It’s the same way raising children — If I tell my child, ‘No pizza, no pizza, no pizza,’ what does he want more than anything? Pizza!” she told the New York Post, who originally published the story.
Wow. I’m in awe that she put marriage and food cravings of children on the same level.
Being monogamous requires respect, patience, honor and love.
Is that the same as telling kids they can’t eat pizza? It’s an ignorant statement that angers me.
Anyone who has ever been cheated on can tell you how having another person enter into a marriage breaks down the trust and rebuilding it a very hard uphill battle, if even possible.
We all know that sex is never just sex.
So I’ll keep my traditional lifestyle and stick with my awesome monogamous marriage. Because at the end of the day, if you would accept an offer to sleep with someone else once a year, you definitely aren’t someone I would have ever married in the first place.
Danielle Herzog is a freelance writer and stay-at-home mom to two children.
Read her every Wednesday on momaha.
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