The Sassy Housewife is a weekly Saturday advice column on Momaha.com by Danielle Herzog, a married mother of two. She’ll cover adventures in housewifery — parenting, entertaining and the interests of a been-there-done-that and somewhat-know-it-all wife.
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Dear Sassy Housewife,
I’m a mother to three children who are ages 8, 6 and 4. My youngest is about to start preschool this fall. Prior to kids, I was a financial analyst for a major corporation. My husband and I both wanted our children to have a parent home during the day so I left my position and stayed home happily. Now, my old company is calling and is interested in me working for them again. However, my husband is completely against the idea and thinks we still need a parent home all of the time. I’m so confused as to what to do and what I even want at this point. Any suggestions?
Mixed Up Mommy
Let’s take your husband and kids out of the equation for a moment. Do you feel a desire to work again? Would you enjoy being back in that environment? If the answer is yes, let’s talk about how to incorporate that in your current lifestyle.
What if you discussed the option of part-time or work from home? You’ll be surprised how many companies are now open to alternative ways to work these days. Since your children are all in school for a certain amount of time during the day, would you be comfortable working only during those hours? Would your husband have an issue with that scenario?
Your husband might be concerned that all the things that currently get done won’t happen if you work. Scheduling and planning are key. So why not map out a sample week of what your family’s schedule would be like. Then decide if that’s possible or not. Where can he help? Where can you adjust?
Another option is to tell your company that you would consider working on a trial basis. That gives you an out if you feel like the fit isn’t right.
At the end of the day, you need to not only be a mother and wife, but you need to be your own person as well. If your husband is struggling with that, how about you two go out for a nice night out and have an honest and non-confrontational conversation about your feelings. Let him know why the idea of working is appealing, and that you might need this to be an even better mother. We ALL need to find our own interests in order to teach our children how to find theirs.
Be proud of the fact that you stayed home, but don’t beat yourself up if you feel that time in your life is done. Life choices are never permanent, they are always changing. It’s OK to allow yourself to take new paths and explore new options. And I believe your children and husband will eventually see that and be proud of you for it.
Have a question for the Sassy Housewife? Email firstname.lastname@example.org.
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