What do you get when you take seven children (ages 6 and younger), three moms (one is mega-pregnant), and send them to a run-down, unimpressive, indoor water park motel?
Chaos. Chaos and tired mommies, that’s what you get.
We saw the Groupon advertising a $60 room rate that included four passes to an indoor water play land. A miniature golf course and playground were also advertised. We thought “Williamsburg, Iowa shouldn’t be that long of a drive from Omaha.”
As it turns out, the $60 room rate bought us a dingy room complete with filthy tubs and alarm clocks that randomly buzzed in the middle of the night. The color on the television screen mimicked the Kelvin coloring option on Instagram.
The miniature golf course was appropriately named as it was miniature, boring, and overpriced at $3 per person. The playground was made of splintery, untreated wood that left a quarter-inch splinter in one of the kid’s hands. The playground’s bridge was also missing several boards that could have easily swallowed a small child. And who were we kidding? Any distance traveled with small children and small bladders takes twice as long!
Our plan: Wear the kids out at the water park and once they’re all asleep we can drink wine in the hallway.
Reality: Frigid water means little ones would rather climb on the poolside chairs and water the fake plants with a pair of Crocs.
And after two of the seven children were pulled out by lifeguards, they decided swimming wasn’t for them. I should mention that these two children belonged to me.
Unfortunately, the pool didn’t wear the children out. But the day of traveling and child managing wore out all three moms. So by 9:30 p.m. our plans for wine and conversation changed to pajamas and bedtime.
The morning of Day 2 came too early and we quickly decided to just load up and head home. We made a pit-stop at the Outlet stores and would have purchased quite a bit more if we hadn’t had 14 extra hands pulling piles of 40 percent off T-shirts from tables.
After lunch in Des Moines recap: numerous potty stops, 15 minutes of screaming, and too much Curious George, we made it home.
It’s unanimous. We won’t be doing that again anytime soon. When we do, we will pay the extra money and stay at a water park hotel nearby.
In fact, we might just send the dads and take ourselves to the outlets for more shopping and wine!
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