The Lincoln Half (and Full) Marathon takes place this Sunday. Race waves begin at 7 a.m. and, around that time, I will be merging into a crowd of runners who will bravely cross over the starting line in front of the Coliseum to begin their cardio quest together. Approximately two hours and 13 miles later, I will be struggling harder than a linebacker who’s recovered a loose ball and is rushing to reach the end zone in Memorial Stadium.
I announced that I placed a friendly bet with my cousin Jen back in December. The bet is simple: Whoever logs the slower race time must suffer public humiliation. Our family is a tad bit competitive.
What I didn’t announce then was what specific consequences were on the table for one of us to endure.
I have made it clear on numerous occasions that I am not a huge fan of the stick figure window decals that people place on the backs of their automobiles. Because my cousin likes to annoy me, she designed my very own window decals that I must adhere to the back of my ride for one month straight if I log a slower race time than her.
Jen is more of a tom boy than I am, which says A LOT. I can count on one hand how many times I’ve seen her in a skirt. I secretly relished in watching her wear a wedding dress, knowing full well she’d rather have been in sweats.
So my counter bet,
in the event when I beat her time, is that she must present herself like television personality Whitney Port from MTV’s hit series, “The Hills”, for a week straight at work.
Let me rephrase that. She must do her hair, her nails, put together a fashionable outfit, and go to work at a beer distributor providing me with photo proof of her transformation.
As I approach mile No. 9 with the dreaded (and only significant) hill coming up upon me on Lincoln’s course, I won’t want to keep running. Yet I will.
Because countless coworkers will approach Jen to ask her why she looks so fancy as she walks around grouchy and sore post-defeat.
And her reply will simply be: “Because my cousin Heidi is faster than I am.”
Yep. That’s all the motivation I need.
Disclaimer: Jen is signed up to run the Omaha Half Marathon on September 22.
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