The Sassy Housewife is weekly advice column on Momaha.com by Danielle Herzog. She’ll cover the adventures in housewifery — from parenting, entertaining and recipes to the interests of a been-there-done-that and somewhat-know-it-all wife. Sassy Housewife runs every Saturday. Have a question for her? Email firstname.lastname@example.org
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Dear Sassy Housewife,
My husband and I had our first child, a little girl, 14 months ago. We are so happy and love being parents. However, my husband is getting frustrated with me now because I won’t agree to leave the baby so we can go away for a romantic weekend. He said that we need some alone time to … well… you know. I just finished breastfeeding so I know that she doesn’t need me in the same way all of the time, but I can’t imagine leaving her. His parents, whom we adore and trust, have agreed to watch her but I still don’t feel comfortable. What do you think?
I have a 4-year old and an almost 2-year old. So the idea of leaving them and going away where I can actually finish a meal and conversation with my husband without someone complaining about the peas on their plate touching the pork chops, heck, I’m jumping at that opportunity. Not only am I taking it, I’m running out the door without even packing.
Does that sound un-motherly? Maybe, but it’s the truth. I love my children but we all need some time away with our significant other. You should know, though, that the first time my hubby and I went away, I cried for the first 15 minutes of the trip. I had so much guilt and worry. Then, I took out People magazine and realized that I had three days to actually read. Read!
I’m telling you to do it. You have been putting your child first for more than 14 months, and now it is time to put yourself and your husband first – at least for just a weekend. Your marriage and love is what created that baby, and you need to reconnect every once in a while to remember that. It’s also time to… well… you know. Geez, imagine it, you can actually have sex without a baby monitor on in the background. That’s romance, I tell ya.
Going away actually makes you a better mom. We aren’t super heroes; we need to recharge our batteries too. Usually I do that with a glass of wine and some reality television at night, but if I was offered a weekend away I’d just set the DVR and bring the wine with me.
Go, have fun, and enjoy being a woman. Maybe buy a new bra – after wearing nursing bras for over a year, you deserve a bra that only unhooks in the back — though it is amazing how most men can’t even unhook those. Ah, well, maybe just go naked instead… less to pack when you are running out the door.
Danielle Herzog, a married mother to two, blogs for momaha every Wednesday. She taught middle and high school students and served as a student counseling advisor in the Washington D.C. area prior to moving to Omaha. She was a project manager for the Washington D.C.-area’s Boys and Girls Club and is currently completing her master’s degree in counseling at the University of Nebraska at Omaha.
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