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I haven’t been the new kid on the block for some time.
We moved on average every five to seven years growing up. Today, I still remember the cacophony of feelings including anticipation, sadness, fear, uncertainty, and the overwhelming desire to hide behind my mom.
Five days after our transplant to Seward, Nebraska, these feelings hit me like I’m standing in a emotional wind tunnel, except this time, I’m the mom.
The movers had us unloaded and left us in a sea of boxes. I was told to stand in the entry way and direct items to the appropriate rooms of the house. I was so glad it wasn’t me hauling boxes of books up the stairs, but I sure did feel bossy with a touch of diva.
We moved on my husband’s birthday so after a long day of closings and moving, our extended family joined us around our dining room table for pizza, beer and cake. After dinner, they all left and it was just the four of us in a big, quiet, cardboard-laden Victorian house.
We tucked the kids into their new rooms and I took a quick soak in my new clawfoot tub. My husband and I hit our pillows by 10:30 p.m. He was fast asleep before I even had the chance to turn off my lamp.
If he falls asleep first we have problems because his snoring and heavy breathing keep me awake. Here is the equation for my first night in our new home:
Sleeping noises + my manic obsession of finding just the right spot for everything in the house = wide awake and the entire kitchen unpacked and organized by 6:30 a.m.
By Day 4, I had most of our boxes unpacked, the rooms functioning, and cooked our first meal for dinner. The kids and I applied for our library card, and they’re scheduled for their first play date.
People have been very kind and welcoming and I know we will fit in just fine. Yet, I’m feeling the anxiety to build a network of friends for myself and the kids. I’ve been so occupied with unpacking and getting settled, I’ve been able to hold the feelings of isolation at bay. With household items finding their places, I am starting to wonder how long it will take to find mine?
In the meantime, I plan to pretend I’m brave and confident for the kids’ sake. I should be able to fool them, right?
Jessica Brashear is married with two children. Read her blogs here on momaha.
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