The Sassy Housewife is weekly advice column on Momaha.com by Danielle Herzog. She’ll cover the adventures in housewifery — from parenting, entertaining and recipes to the interests of a been-there-done-that and somewhat-know-it-all wife. Sassy Housewife runs every Saturday. Have a question for her? Email firstname.lastname@example.org
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Dear Sassy Housewife,
My son started kindergarten this year and now has a different group of friends from his preschool. We have had a few play dates and park trips with his classmates, but he recently has become close to one boy in particular. This friend is very sweet and they seem to have a great time together. The issue is that I can’t stand his mother. She is a one-upper who always talks about herself and brags about all the elements of her life from how much money they have to what kind of car they drive. I can honestly say that I can’t stand to be around her. How do I let my son have a new friend when I don’t want his mother to be mine?
Painful Play Dating
The first thing I would do is go out a buy a new car from the latest Mercedes series while also purchasing a Gucci purse and diamonds from Tiffany and Co. Now that would really show her! OK, that’s not my real advice, but how funny would that be to roll up to the playground like that? I’m pretty sure she’d be choking on her jealousy at that moment. However, you and I both know that’s not the answer here.
The answer is simple – you don’t actually have to be her friend. You are at the awesome stage in parenting that I like to call, “The Drop Off Stage”. What is it, you ask? It’s the point in every parent’s life where their child is now old enough to be dropped off at a play date. If a child is old enough to go to school, they are old enough to be at a friend’s house with just ONE parent watching – you both don’t need to be there together.
One way to transition to “The Drop Off Stage” is to make the first offer. Offer to watch her son over at your house while she has time to herself to run errands or anything she’d like. Tell her to be back in two hours or so and then say something like, “We can take turns with play dates, how does that sound?” My guess is that she’s probably more interested in shopping than staying and chatting so she’ll jump at this opportunity.
One thing though, you will have to be polite to her. It’s important to show our kids how to act towards someone we might not like. That’s a good lesson for them to learn. Actually, it’s a lesson I’m actually trying to work on some days as well. But this darn New York attitude keeps getting in the way…
Danielle Herzog, a married mother to two, blogs for momaha every Wednesday. She taught middle and high school students and served as a student counseling advisor in the Washington D.C. area prior to moving to Omaha. She was a project manager for the Washington D.C.-area’s Boys and Girls Club and is currently completing her master’s degree in counseling at the University of Nebraska at Omaha.
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