The Sassy Housewife is weekly advice column on Momaha.com by Danielle Herzog. She’ll cover the adventures in housewifery — from parenting, entertaining and recipes to the interests of a been-there-done-that and somewhat-know-it-all wife. Sassy Housewife runs every Saturday. Have a question for her? Email email@example.com
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Dear Sassy Housewife,
While on a recent shopping trip with my 12-year-old daughter, she pointed to a pair of sweat pants and asked if she could please get them. I lifted them up off the rack and saw that the word “juicy’ was written on the backside. I asked why in the world she would want pants like that. She told me that everyone in her class has them and that they looked “hot.” I was shocked that she cared what looked hot or not, told her “no” and we left the store soon after. That conversation has been bothering me ever since and I want to talk to her about not growing up too fast but don’t want to sound like an old fuddy-duddy. How can I still be cool yet let her know that she’s too young to be thinking like that?
Juiced Up Momma
First of all, I hate to break this horrible news to you. The day you birthed a baby all of your coolness went out the window and you became a parent. We will never know the cool things to say, wear, dance or dare I even say, songs to sing with them in the car. So give up that idea right now.
What you can focus on is how to talk to your daughter without making her feel like a child. Twelve years old is a tough age because they aren’t a child anymore, yet they still aren’t an adolescent. They are the awful age that we categorize as… the middle schooler. (Insert very dramatic music here.) It’s an age where they now know what sex is and are terrified of it, yet they have to pretend not to be so they don’t seem like dorks to their friends. Confusing, I know. Imagine what it’s like for them.
As for your daughter, I would find out what “hot” means to her. Sometimes it doesn’t have any association with sexy, sometimes it refers to something that is popular. Maybe she doesn’t even understand the implications of having the word “juicy” on her rear. Talk about what message that might be sending and how male teenage hormones can be affected from having that daily view in their faces. Is she seeking that attention? If so, why?
However, don’t look too much into the situation. Every pre-teen/teen wants to fit in with what everyone else is doing. If it means “juicy” on their buttocks, they’ll want it too. Back when I was 11, we wore banana clips in our hair that made us all look like we had horse heads. Pair that with some neon sweatshirts with the necks cut off and you had a visual display of pure ridiculousness, yet I did it because that’s what everyone else wore.
The bottom line is, if you aren’t comfortable with her wearing it then she shouldn’t be allowed to wear it. As the parent, those are some of the perks that come with the job – you make the rules. It almost makes up for the fact that we lost the ability to be cool many years before. Almost.
Danielle Herzog, a married mother to two, blogs for momaha every Wednesday. She taught middle and high school students and served as a student counseling advisor in the Washington D.C. area prior to moving to Omaha. She was a project manager for the Washington D.C.-area’s Boys and Girls Club and is currently completing her master’s degree in counseling at the University of Nebraska at Omaha.
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