The Sassy Housewife is weekly advice column on Momaha.com by Danielle Herzog. She’ll cover the adventures in housewifery — from parenting, entertaining and recipes to the interests of a been-there-done-that and somewhat-know-it-all wife. Sassy Housewife runs every Saturday. Have a question for her? Email email@example.com
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Dear Sassy Housewife,
I’ve been reading your posts for the past few weeks and really love them. Thank you for your honest and funny answers. Now it is finally time for me to write in. Growing up we never talked about sex so I still don’t feel comfortable talking to even my friends about it. But I had to ask someone because something just happened and I don’t know what to do. Last night, my 3-year-old daughter walked in on my husband and I having sex. She opened the door right in the middle of the act to tell us she had to go potty. I threw the covers over us and told her to quickly go potty and go back to sleep. Now, it’s the morning after and I have no idea what to say. Any words of wisdom?
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First of all, thanks for the kind words about The Sassy Housewife. I’m blushing. It could be from my morning mimosa, but I’m sure it’s from the compliments, really. Glad you are enjoying my sometimes helpful, but always sarcastic advice.
On to your situation, first of all, check you out, you hot momma! Forget your daughter, I’m impressed you had the energy to get your freak on in the midst of potty training. That is seriously impressive and we should really start handing out medals to moms like you. I would probably never earn one.
However, on to your problem. No worries, my little vixen, you have not permanently scarred your child and set them up for a life of therapy. Actually, she probably didn’t think anything of it. Toddlers have very innocent minds. They haven’t yet been tarnished by reality television, fashion magazines, and inappropriate adult conversations – or as I like to call those, my favorite things in life. Three-year-olds really do have the attention span of a goldfish. By the time they have gotten to the side of the fishbowl, they have no idea how they got there.
But, with that in mind, I would still have a conversation with her. Not a big one, just a very simple one that first tells her that you are proud of her for going potty by herself, and then review the rules of privacy. Kids need to learn that doors have to be knocked on first before they can come in. Trust me, you’ll want to teach this now so they aren’t teenagers walking in on your lovemaking and then REALLY need therapy. After that, just briefly say something like, “When you walked in last night, Mommy and Daddy were giving special hugs to each other. That’s something just for Mommies and Daddies to do.”
If she asks more questions, answer them, but if she doesn’t, I would just let it go. Trust me, more questions will come later in life. Soon she’ll be wondering why she isn’t allowed to go into the special drawer next to your bed just for grownups. Good luck with that one.
Danielle Herzog, a married mother to two, blogs for momaha every Wednesday. She taught middle and high school students and served as a student counseling advisor in the Washington D.C. area prior to moving to Omaha. She was a project manager for the Washington D.C.-area’s Boys and Girls Club and is currently completing her master’s degree in counseling at the University of Nebraska at Omaha.
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