It’s a peaceful morning. I’ve had my first sip of my latte, and I am showered. I’m all caught up on the day’s news — not to mention that the birds outside are singing. The kids have brushed their teeth without me having to remind them, and my daughter hasn’t said one word about the outfit I picked out for her…
WHO AM I KIDDING? That’s not my typical day.
We’re lucky if we get out with pants on some mornings!
By the way, I drive to my kids’ school in my PJ’s. So god forbid anything happen where I would need to step out of the car.
Let me tell you what really happens every morning in my house.
We have such a strict regimen.
If I do not leave the house by 8:11 a.m — not one minute sooner or one second later — then I will be stuck in a traffic jam going into the school parking lot, akin to the lines of cars waiting for gas during the 1980’s gas shortage.
It is the cruel and punishing reality of my life, and I am sure many of you have been introduced to as well.
Waterboarding might be less torturous than maneuvering around school parking lots if that gives you an idea of the mayhem.
Over the years, I have personally witnessed fathers crying, Grandmas cussing and new parents driving away as if they had just seen a ghost fly into their windshield. It is a scary, scary place people.
Instead of just crabbing and going insane, I have actually tried to come up with solutions, — there have been other very brave souls before me do the same — and it is a useless waste of time.
I remember an episode of “Desperate Housewives,” when Gabby was kicked out from the PTA moms group for breaking rules and was sent to the back lot where they had to walk. That would actually be a dream come true to have bossy moms out there.
If you are asking the question, why don’t you volunteer?
I have an easy answer: I value my life and the lives of my children way too much!
When out with friends, we’ve had to all promise that no one will bring up this topic because it will consume our night out. If someone does, it’s guaranteed that someone will leave somewhat agitated and angry over the topic.
When we’ve broached the subject, we’ve come up with good solutions. Only problem is that they just maybe not socially acceptable!
We have an amazing school and wonderful teachers. The parking lot, however, is another subject.
Rarely do I curse, but while driving throught that lot, I have make a conscious effort to save those naughty words for when the kids get out of the car. I always wonder what the people driving next to me think when they see me screaming at nobody on my way home.
I’ve learned to imagine I’m in a bubble, follow the rules of the road, expect the mess I am driving into, and drink lots of lavender tea.
I know that I’m not the only parent suffering with this problem. I would love to hear your funny school parking lot stories. Bring them on moms and dads! That is… if you’ve moved past the shock of school drop off and pick-ups and feel you’re able to finally talk about it again.