Brier Jirka, a sex therapist with the Methodist Physicians Clinic Women’s Center, blogs for LiveWellNebraska.com.
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You can’t walk down the aisles at Hy-Vee without seeing boxes of chocolate. Or walk by the Hallmark store without noticing pink and red cards. And the Victoria’s Secret window display is complete with half-dressed models in sexy lingerie. You got the memo – it’s Valentine’s Day … again.
This is the one day of the year solely focused on couples and making your significant other feel special while professing your love and affection. But what about all the singles out there?
Having spent quite a few Valentine’s Days single myself, I’ve learned it can mean different things for everyone – from loving the holiday, going out and meeting new people, to having a Die Hard marathon with my dog on the couch.
I’ve provided therapy to singles and couples, and I’ve come to the conclusion that singles fall into one of three categories on Valentine’s Day. Let me explain and share some ideas for anyone flying solo on February 14.
Single and happy. This group has no expectations for Valentine’s Day. They often affirm their choice and are OK with not being in a relationship. They enjoy the holiday by going out to dinner with friends or spending time with family. The day will go by like it’s not a big deal. This guy or gal can get their friends together and head to the Old Market, hit up happy hour or get everyone together at Dave & Busters to just let their inner child out.
Single and ready to mingle. These people aren’t in a relationship but want to be. They’re looking for love and know what they want. Their main goal on Valentine’s Day is to find Mr. or Mrs. Right (or Mr. / Mrs. Right Now). This group of singles could hit up Flirt Fest, a speed dating even put on by Omahalove.com. This can be a great way to meet a lot of people in a short amount of time.
Single and unsure. These singles could be recently divorced, just out of a long-term relationship or even widowed. They’re not quite sure if they’re ready to date or even put themselves in a networking situation. This category can often be the most difficult. If you’re in this group, know that it’s OK to grieve and process the loss. Regardless of how you became single, allow yourself to experience the five stages of grief: denial, bargaining, depression, anger and acceptance. This is critical in being able to move forward.
In the case of a breakup or a divorce, think about what you’ve learned. This will give you a better idea of what you want in your next relationship. There will be many future Valentine’s Days in which you’ll feel more in control. Just use this one for self care and keeping the focus on YOU!
- Book a massage at a local salon and get pampered for the day.
- Cook your favorite meal or order take-out from your favorite Chinese restaurant.
- Have a good cry if you need it. This is where my Die Hard marathon comes into play.
- Maybe you even catch the fifth Die Hard movie in theaters with a close friend.
Valentine’s Day means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. Just remember February 14 is what you make it – no longer a couples’ holiday unless you want it to be. So Happy Valentine’s Day … or … Happy Just Another Day of the Year!
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