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The Sassy Housewife is weekly advice column on Momaha.com by Danielle Herzog. She’ll cover the adventures in housewifery — from parenting, entertaining and recipes to the interests of a been-there-done-that and somewhat-know-it-all wife. Sassy Housewife runs every Saturday. Have a question for her? Email firstname.lastname@example.org
Dear Sassy Housewife,
We found a condom in my 16-year-old daughter’s purse this weekend after it was knocked off the kitchen table. She was sleeping upstairs and my husband and I spent the rest of the night in total shock. Now we are disagreeing and conflicted on what to do next. We’ve had the sex talk with her a couple of times over the past few years and have always felt like she has been open and honest about her relationships, but what now? My husband wants to ignore it and pretend we didn’t find it, but I think we need to do something, though I’m unsure of exactly what. Can you help?
Sixteen ain’t so sweet
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I know you probably don’t want to hear this, but WOW, I’m so impressed that a girl was actually carrying around a condom — a very responsible thing to do.
Your instinct is right in this situation – something needs to be done. If your husband won’t jump on board, then it will come down to you. Don’t get too upset with the hubby though, he used to be that hormonal teenage boy that your daughter finds attractive. So he probably knows too much. I’m sure he wants to sit on the couch next to that boy and clean a rifle while staring him down.
As for you, set up a time and place that won’t put her on the spot or make her feel like she is in trouble. Tell her the truth. Then wait. Wait a few minutes to see what she tells you. Some kids will spill all the beans just at the mere mention of it, others will want to see how you feel.
Either way, let her know how much you love her and then remind her of her responsibilities. She obviously is taking precautions, but does she know all the options available? Would she need your help obtaining some of those options?
The thought of taking my daughter to get birth control horrifies me as well, but the idea of her getting pregnant at 16 is worse.
Then, when that conversation is over and you two hug it out, pour yourself a glass of wine and find a new place that she can put her purse– preferably somewhere that it can’t fall open.
Danielle Herzog, a married mother to two, blogs for momaha every Wednesday. She taught middle and high school students and served as a student counseling advisor in the Washington D.C. area prior to moving to Omaha. She was a project manager for the Washington D.C.-area’s Boys and Girls Club and is currently completing her master’s degree in counseling at the University of Nebraska at Omaha.
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