The National Football League’s Super Bowl XLVII is only days away.
Throwing a Super Bowl party is one of the easiest events to host because guests are generally focused on two things: The game and casual food.
For most moms, it doesn’t take too much effort to handle those items.
In my experience, it’s the “game-watching” portion that gets annoying. In my house, people assume I’m football-illiterate or that I don’t want to watch the game. I enjoy the hard-hits and behind-the-scene drama, too.
OK. I’ll admit some of the football terms — such as bird cage and flanker — throw me off. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to watch the game.
If there was a Super Mommy Bowl, I’d like to see you rattle off mom terms, decipher toddler gibberish and change a diaper with one hand while tossing the old bundle in the trash with the other. Boo-yah!
And, yes, I have a celebratory end zone dance for the diaper toss, too.
After reading an iVillage.com article “What Moms Already Know About Super Bowl Lingo,” I decided to come up with a glossary of Super Mommy Bowl phrases you’d hear if one was ever held. (I kept a couple from the original list because they were so funny.)
In the spirit of football, the term names are the same, but I changed the definitions.
Parental exclamation when the kids finally make it to day care on time.
What you do when you’ve left the house and realized you forgot your cell phone.
What kids do with crayons.
Another name for dad.
GOOD FIELD POSITION
A shady picnic spot in the park far from other children and dog poop.
A diaper rash.
“But she hit me first!”
When you run out of time to give a full one.
FAKING A ROUGHER
Fake being roughed by a sibling in hopes of drawing a penalty.
What mommy used to be before having kids.
A child’s game.
What happens when mommy piles on the baby carrier and diaper bags.
What mommy says to make it through the day.
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Super Bowl XLVII starts at 5:30 p.m. Sunday.
CBS-TV (channel 62) coverage of the big game begins at 1 p.m. with “Super Bowl Today” until 5 p.m.
The “Super Bowl Kick Off Show” starts at 5 p.m.
The Pepsi Super Bowl Half-time Show will feature six-time Grammy-Award winner Beyonce Knowles.
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