I know I’m not alone as a parent who has dreams for my children’s futures. That’s what we do, we imagine all they could do and be. I wonder what their adult lives will look like with professions and families. Part of our jobs in raising them is to teach them the motivation and dedication it takes to have that future.
What happens when your child is seemingly throwing their future away? What lengths would you go to in order to get them on the right path? Perhaps you might follow one Chinese father’s approach and hire assassins.
Mr. Feng hired virtual assassins to kill his 23-year-old son’s online game characters. He hoped this would cause his son to lose interest in the game and get a job. Mr. Feng noted that his son’s gaming habit was the source of his poor grades in high school and the reason he cannot stay gainfully employed.
I give Mr. Feng an A+ in creativity. But my children should be warned that my approach will be much more severe than a dead character in a game.
I will in no way put in more effort to my child’s life and future than they do. As their parents, my husband and I are responsible for them until they finish high school. Should they choose to put more energy, time, or motivation into anything other than their academics during this time, they will only receive the necessities from us. They will have a home, a bed, food, medical care, and an appropriate amount of clothing. They will have nothing else.
That’s right, there won’t be new video games, phones, or computers. In fact, the old ones will disappear. There will be no sports, trips to the mall, slumber parties, or other fluff. My kids know that fun only comes after work.
But what happens when like Mr. Feng, it’s an adult child throwing their life away?
In this situation, the rules should get a little tougher. Sure, the government may give you 99 weeks of unemployment, but mama only gives you four. After four weeks, take a job doing something – anything – while you continue to look for better employment.
As long as my children are working to help themselves, I will help. I will not, however, in any way, do anything to make living in my home as an adult appealing. I will not ever support my adult child who refuses to support themselves. My house is not a spa or a resort. The people who live here work; they contribute.
And I’m not worried about having to hire a virtual assassin to kill of game characters; any unemployed adult child of mine won’t have the Wi-Fi password to play computer games.
Cat Koehler is married with two children. She works full time. Read her Mondays on momaha.com
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