I need to be away from my children sometimes. I need to put on those pair of jeans that make my butt look good, wear that one fancy shirt that doesn’t have a stain on it, and actually bust out the flat iron for my usually messy hair.
I don’t just like date nights, I need them. And I’m not the only one who feels that way.
Recently, during a momaha live chat, other parents shared my sentiments.
“Being a Stay@Home dad I have to get out of the house sometime or go nuts and drive the family nuts and being able to do that with my wife is just a plus,” wrote a father.
A mother agreed saying, it’s “EXTREMELY necessary! My husband and I are lucky enough to have his parents that watch our kids every other weekend so we can have a date night. It’s so nice when we have that time alone together to just think about being a couple instead of mommy and daddy. Of course, it’s over too soon and we are left wanting another sooner than it will come!”
A few days after my first child was born my amazing mother-in-law called and said, “I think you and Matt should go out to dinner – just the two of you.”
I explained to her that it was too soon and wondered if I could I really leave the baby for two hours. She said not only could I, but I needed to. She told me how important it is to start life with children by remembering your spouse and getting some time away. I took her advice and even though we talked all about our new baby the entire dinner that night, my husband and I appreciated being able to be together and learn how to let go a bit.
Now that we have two children, we try to have date nights twice a month. I know how lucky we are to have family that helps babysits, but for those who aren’t in that situation, I know it can be pricey to hire sitters. One thing that we have done to save money when we needed a sitter is to swap babysitting with other families – they watch our kids one night, we watch theirs.
“One of our best date nights,” wrote one mom during the chat, “was when we locked ourselves in the bedroom with a pizza and watched old family VHS tapes from when the kids were little.”
I’ve learned that I can’t put a price tag on spending time alone with my husband. I love when we get to go out together and actually finish a conversation. I love when we get to talk about things that don’t revolve around sleep training, preschool, or what our schedules are for the week. And I love feeling like a woman.
“I forget sometimes what a goofball my husband is… and how sad, since that’s what first attracted me to him!” wrote a mom. “Now, its like we’re coworkers or roommates. Anyone else feel that way?”
Don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining about being a mom. Not at all. I wear my mom jeans proud (though they aren’t high-waisted and are kind of stylish…). However, being a mom isn’t sexy. The reality is that it is full of spit up and making meals where half of it ends up on the floor. And that’s OK because I don’t need motherhood to be sexy, I have date nights for that.
Danielle Herzog is married and a mother to two children. Read her every Wednesday on momaha.
Tell us about your date nights. Where do you go? What are your favorite date night memories?
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