I am normally a very logical and rational person. I love algebra and statistics because they follow a very logical path. (Forget geometry, there is no explanation for angles). I will always ask you “why,” and if you have a valid reason behind even the craziest ideas, I’m with you.
And then I became pregnant. My cool and collected self has been replaced with irrational and ridiculous.
I have absolutely no control over my emotions. It’s like my brain is doing one thing and my face is doing another. I can be talking about something serious and professional and get verklempt.
And, saying, “Oh, ignore these tears, I have no idea where they’re coming from, but back to my point…” somehow freaks people out even more.
And, if you’re crying near me, forget about it. I’m bawling with you, holding your hand without having any idea why we’re crying. It could be happy or sad tears. It doesn’t matter, because you’re crying, and I have a very strict no-crying-alone rule these days.
My tears don’t stop there. Facebook posts of newborn babies or family reunions… cue the tears. The worst offender lately, however, is baby animal photos on Pinterest.
Why are they all alone? Where are their mom and dad? I’d even settle for a grandma. Don’t they realize how dangerous the wild is? Run for your life, little one!
To top it off, my baby turned four this week. She is definitely a much more independent person lately and doesn’t want my help as much. Isn’t this what we’re all striving for – to raise self-sufficient people? It’s still sad. She can hold a conversation with her peers, isn’t as shy and pushes me out of Grandma’s house when I drop her off for date nights (all of which makes me cry).
I was at a friend’s desk talking to her about a work issue when I started tearing up. She stopped me to apologize for upsetting me saying that there was more than I was letting on.
How do you say, “No, actually you didn’t. I have no idea why I’m crying. It could be the pictures of your kids on your desk, or your seriously enviable hair and eye makeup. It’s really hard to tell these days.”
I thought these crazy emotions were all supposed to stay within the borders of the first trimester? My doctor says that my swelling feet and other fun pregnancy issues should subside by a month or after? (Missing a word) post-partum. Let’s hope that’s also true for my inability to control my overflowing emotions.
Melissa Cruickshank is married with one daughter. She works full-time. Read her here on momaha.com
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Did you cry a lot during your pregnancy?