As a self-proclaimed germaphobe, I already hate the mall play area. But my daughter begged. She is only 2 and already knows how to work it.

“I be good girl, Mama. I play toys.”

About 3.5 seconds after I took off her shoes, she was lost. I couldn’t see her in the crowd. I tried to play it cool like all the other moms reading books or balancing their checkbooks, but I was in instant panic. The big kids (who I will from now on refer to as the evil ones) were jumping from play structure to play structure, tackling other kids and climbing everything.

She is little, way too little for this play area. Look at all of the evil ones around her. Do you see her little blond hair sticking out here? Do you also see the evil girl in pink pants standing on her?

It pained me to take my eyes off of her long enough to get out my phone and snap this photo. And I am not normally the hovering mom type! I’ve been in situations where five minutes have passed and I literally think, “Oh crap, where is my child?”

But, here, I lasted about 10 minutes before I snatched her up and left. My blood pressure was through the roof by then. I doused her in antibacterial gel and pushed her away from the evil ones.  

On my way out, I saw the sign that read: Must Be Under 42 Inches to Play. I know I sound like a prude here, but most of those kids are way over 42 inches tall. I mean, I understand that it was raining out and all moms need a break, but come on. Maybe the mall should have two different play areas – one for big kids and one for toddlers.

I left Crazyland and mall-walked directly to the Auntie Anne’s to get a pretzel and lemonade. We had much more fun sitting on the couch, eating our junk food and laughing. And I didn’t have to worry about her getting stepped on here.