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TwitterI hear it all the time. It’s not something you have to listen long and hard for. My friends complain about it often. There are entire primetime shows dedicated to improving it. What is “it?”
The tragedy that is their husband’s wardrobe.
Through all of the commenting, complaining, lecturing, shopping, re-shopping, laying out clothes and finally the throwing up of the hands, I am still hearing the same thing: “Why can’t my husband dress like a grown up?”
Many times, you start dating your husband when you are still in college or high school. It’s an age still appropriate for college football t-shirts and crude expressions that win him rounds of high-fives at penny pitcher night or for his weekly pick-up basketball game.
It never occurs to you that eventually you will both grow up. You will get adult jobs and have adult functions to attend. Even if your husband wears a uniform or is casually dressed for work, he will have to attend weddings, job interviews and sadly some funerals. It seems only reasonable to invest some time, money and effort into being properly dressed for those occasions.
I’m not sure that this is something that crosses a man’s mind until five minutes before the event when he ventures out of the bedroom in some raggedy, khaki pants with pleats galore, a 1990’s chambray shirt and a tie with bright yellow mugs of beer on it.
You look on in horror and then amazement at the complete lack of insecurity your husband has (but should have!) when dressed like this.
Here are a few rules you can share with your man to get him “going anywhere” ready:
1. Do not buy his clothes too big. (Most of us shop for our husbands, yes?) Every man would love to be a lean, mean “XL” but not every man is. Buying the right size accentuates any muscle tone a guy has instead of drowning him in something that looks like he should actually be camping in it.
2. Sweatpants are for the gym or for some sort of athletics and even then they should not be the heavy, gray ones with the tight, elastic bottoms that hug all the wrong places. Opt for “wind pants” in a dry fit fabric and a clean t-shirt that fits his frame. There is a great likelihood that he will be seen in public, as you will have him stopping at the store or gassing up the car on his way home.
3. Khakis and chinos are not dress pants. Dress pants are usually wool, wool gabardine or rayon gabardine. Every man should own 2-3 pairs of them in solid colors or non-busy plaids.
4. Men need more than one pair of shoes. Men’s fashion experts say the magic number is five: sneakers for the gym; the casual shoe, usually leather with laces and a rubber sole; black and brown dress shoes and finally, an ankle boot that ties and can be worn equally well with suits or jeans. Your guy may not need all of these shoes, but he should certainly have sneakers, casual shoes and a nice pair of dress shoes. Also, remember that his shoes and his belt should always match!
5. Jeans are not always play clothes. Many husbands I know would not be caught dead in the trendy, designer jeans that are on the market these days. The rule of thumb is to have a pair of dark, straight leg jeans for casual or dress-casual occasions. Understandably, a guy may wear jeans for working around the house or in the yard, but make sure he’s not wearing anything too faded or with holes. Again, you may be sending him on errands where people you know might see him!
6. Every man should own at least one suit. A navy or black, 2-button is the most classic. Most men’s suits have to be tailored to fit well and it should absolutely fit well. A navy sport coat is also a staple. It can be worn with slacks, shirt and tie for work, with a sweater and jeans for date night or with a t-shirt and khakis for a daytime outing.
7. Never underestimate the power of a crisp, white shirt. A great fitting white shirt looks good with EVERYTHING. Open and untucked with a t-shirt and cargo pants, under a navy sport coat with jeans and boots, with a black suit and a fabulous tie are all ways to wear a crisp, white shirt.
Overwhelmed? Add one nice piece or a few less expensive pieces to your mate’s wardrobe once or twice a year. Men’s wardrobe staples are classics and won’t need to be replaced often.
Your husband may be sensitive to being “changed” so start small and don’t make him eliminate his old favorites (no matter how bad they are) all at once. Compliment him when he takes your advice. It will make him feel good about looking good!
Lastly, if your husband regularly shops for himself, urge him to find outfits he likes on mannequins and then tell him to seek help from the sales person to pull it all together. Fashion experts are in charge of styling and dressing those mannequins. It’s the “cheat sheet” for quick and easy shopping!
Amy Grace is married with two sons. She is a stay at home mom.
Copyright ©2012 Omaha World-Herald®. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, displayed or redistributed for any purpose without permission from the Omaha World-Herald.
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Posted by: Lisa Andrews on 09/03/2010 @ 1:13 pm:
Before I read your blog today my husband came down the stairs wearing a shirt I told him last week needed to be in the “mow the lawn clothes” pile. I said: When you get home tonight say good bye to that shirt because I’m hiding it! This kids thought that was hilarious. He said: I like it. I rolled my eyes, and planned for it’s demise…lol. Oh, please add…no ball hats in restaurants, movie theaters etc.
Posted by: Heidi W on 09/03/2010 @ 4:55 pm:
I agree with Lisa Andrews on everything but this: baseball hats can be very sexy! Unfortunately, SOME MEN (and I am not saying names) have heads that are too big and can therefore never pull off the ball cap look. Let’s just say I had three c-sections because of genes my children inherited
Posted by: Amy G on 09/03/2010 @ 5:08 pm:
Good idea, Lisa, it’ll officially be #8!
Posted by: michelle on 09/03/2010 @ 2:08 pm:
oh….so you mean the jeans with the holes in the crotch are not appropriate for public? I KNEW it!!!!! My husband is a 5’7 (he’ll argue 5’7 1/2) smaller man……before me he would buy XL!!!!! THe shoulder seam was down to his elbow. I regularly shop for him now in the appropriate size M and he actually loves it. He hates shopping for clothes and I love it so it works out
Posted by: Lisa M on 09/03/2010 @ 3:42 pm:
Another male wardrobe must–and I’m sorry guys but this is true because so many of you have no butts!–is a good quality belt. Leave the crack at home!
I don’t have to worry about my husband looking like a slob in public, because the instant we got married he stopped picking out his clothes and expects me to do it. He’ll go shopping and have some input in to what colors he likes, etc., but untimately he wants me to chose. On one hand I am annoyed with this because I am not his momma, and on the other hand…at least he doesn’t leave the house a mess.
He works at home, though, so his work attire is less than desirable. Old shorts with paint on them, ratty t-shirts, and sweat pants in the winter. I can put up with all of that, but I HATE when he gets lazy with personal hygeine and skips a shower some days, and maybe shaves twice a week. That imagery doesn’t exactly make me want to rush home from work for a little romance, you know?
Posted by: Amy G on 09/03/2010 @ 5:10 pm:
Lisa M, you might share that last little tidbit with your husband. I can’t think of one husband that isn’t trying to get a little more “romance” in their life!
Posted by: carolee on 09/03/2010 @ 3:55 pm:
Good advice Amy as to mens’ proper dress attire, and what is appropriate for the occasion. However for the majority of men, these suggestions will fall on deaf ears. My husband is such a “clothes horse” that he does not want to get rid of anything, but yet he only wears a handful of outfits. He doesn’t enjoy shopping so he tends to over-buy when on a shopping expedition. This makes for clothes that go out of style all at once. So he indulges me to shop for him, and then complains he is not sure he likes what I buy, or whether it fits him right. So now I have bundles to return to the store; once I even did several pairs of shoes back and forth for “his majesty”, the “clothes horse”.
Posted by: JulieO on 09/03/2010 @ 4:12 pm:
I have forbidden the dreaded tie-dyed Tshirt to be worn any time any where. Great tips!
Posted by: Cat Koehler on 09/03/2010 @ 4:35 pm:
When I was first married, I fell into this trap. I thought I had to buy “pretty boy” jeans and new hip clothes for my husband. He hated being my personal manequin, and probably hated feeling as though he wasn’t good enough. That lasted about 2 years.
Now…
I LOVE my husband in cargo shorts and a college sweatshirt (GO HAWKS!). I love him in a baseball cap – even the one with sweat rings. I love that my husband is perfectly capable of selecting his own attire. There are times I wonder about his chosen outfit – but never has there been a time (in the last 10 years) I made him change or refused to be seen with him. I realize I am with HIM, not his clothes.
Posted by: Amy G on 09/03/2010 @ 8:03 pm:
I don’t think it’s a trap. My husband likes to dress nice and to have nice clothes. He will still ask, “can I wear this with this?” I think some guys just fall into another “trap” when it comes to dressing appropriately for their age and the events they have to attend.
Kudos to you for liking your guy, just the way he is. I’m sure most of us do!
Posted by: csgirls on 09/03/2010 @ 4:41 pm:
I think #3 is especially important…soooooo many men in Omaha (and the midwest) will default to the khakis as “dress” pants.
Posted by: Judy D. on 09/03/2010 @ 8:02 pm:
Khaki’s aren’t dress pants?!?!?!?
Posted by: theremingtons on 09/04/2010 @ 2:31 pm:
My husband is like that…I got him a GREAT pair of sexy jeans from GAP last year and he refuses to wear them…because they button up the front. Who cares how freaking awesome his butt looked in them and how grown up he looked.
Silly men.
Posted by: Barb in Nebraska on 09/05/2010 @ 11:41 am:
Based on how many women commented that their husband fit this description, you’d think this was a problem. I don’t think it is. I think it’s the women folk who are the only ones worried about this. Do your husbands dress appropriately for work? That’s really all that matters to me!
Posted by: MelAFwife on 09/05/2010 @ 11:49 am:
I am so tired of men bashing!
Posted by: davidinark on 09/05/2010 @ 1:40 pm:
While I agree that certain clothing is not appropriate for public consumption, the simple fact is that bashing the guy that you supposedly “love” and the one YOU married is not the solution. Besides, this same post could be the same for many, MANY of the women I have seen in public. Save the ‘crotchless’ clothing for the bedroom. Please. Despite what some people think, guys dont want to see your stuff falling out all over the place. It’s disgusting. As for me, I try to dress appropriately for the occasion. Yes, sometimes we have to make a trip to town in the middle of mowing the lawn because the mower broke. I am *not* changing clothes to run to the hardware store. Khakis *can* be dress pants. Period. “Dark” clothes are not the only dress clothes. How about a post on how to stop bashing the person you supposedly love? Now, *that* might be helpful.
Posted by: Amy G on 09/06/2010 @ 2:51 am:
Readers, thanks for reading and for your comments. I felt I had to mention that I am in NO way bashing my husband or other women’s husbands. I don’t feel that women love their husbands any less because they disagree with their clothing choices. And since when did wanting your husband to look nice become “bashing?”
Posted by: Amy's Hubby on 09/06/2010 @ 8:04 pm:
I am Amy’s husband and thought I should chime in here… Great feedback from everyone and it’s encouraging to see so many responding. For the record, when Amy was brainstorming for blog topics last week, I was the one who came up with the idea. I always suggest that Amy write what she knows and she has a keen and consistent fashion sense. My thinking was that as we hurl through our thirties with grown-up concerns, dressing cool doesn’t rank high on the list of priorities. I thought she should write about the basic blocking and tackling of men’s dress so that I and men like me can avoid or at least slow down the inevitable slide into Black Sock Bermuda Short Guy or to the scientific community, Dadus Metamorphosis. I do appreciate the guy solidarity though…Holla.
Posted by: Barb in Nebraska on 09/06/2010 @ 10:59 pm:
Dear Amy and Amy’s husband, Thanks for responding! I think that the title is what might have set some people off. It’s true, it caught my eye and made me want to read the story, which is what the title should do. But the title left me feeling protective of my husband’s dressing and protective of Amy’s husband’s clothing choices.
But, then again, your blog brought in readers and made for a good discussion in my home, so I think it was a good blog post, but with a lousy title!
Posted by: MelAFwife on 09/06/2010 @ 11:26 pm:
I make up dress rules for my children, not for my husband. Even if the article was not intended as “men bashing” the comments made up for that.
Quote:”Through all of the commenting, complaining, lecturing, shopping, re-shopping, laying out clothes and finally the throwing up of the hands, I am still hearing the same thing: “Why can’t my husband dress like a grown up?”
Why can’t the wife act like a grown up and stop nagging? Get over it!
Quote:
” I don’t feel that women love their husbands any less because they disagree with their clothing choices. And since when did wanting your husband to look nice become “bashing?”
Wanting your husband to dress nicer is not bashing…..giving him rules and publicly making fun of him is. If women LOVE their husbands less because of their “oh-so-terrible” clothes than they are NOT in love with their husbands.
Posted by: Janelle on 09/07/2010 @ 1:12 am:
Haha at Amy’s Hubby. “Slow down the inevitable slide into Black Sock Bermuda Short Guy…Dadus Metamorphosis” <– hilar. thanks for the laugh!
Posted by: BDN on 09/16/2010 @ 2:29 pm:
Just lost a reader here….My husband wears a very hot uniform all day long to keep all of us safe. When he comes home, he doesn’t need to look “nice”. He needs to be comfortable so he can come down off his high stress job. I love my husband for the man and father he is, not for the clothes he wears.