Pre-motherhood, I was young and senseless and could therefore pick whoever was in the spotlight to dream about. I could easily pretend that Marky Mark would leave the Funky Bunch for me. But oh how times have changed.
I was having a discussion with friends recently and an innocent argument ensued. I made an analogy that what I was witnessing reminded me of Team Edward versus Team Jacob as both parties were bound and determined to prove that they were right and the other was wrong.
By now, I find it hard to believe that anyone has escaped the media hoopla surrounding the Twilight series, which I should admit upfront, I know absolutely nothing about … refuse to drink the Kool-aid … but I do know which actors play the leading men in those movies.
When asked which side I was on in the Edward vs. Jacob standoff, it took me but a split second to reply “Edward” with no doubts. (Well, first I had to confirm he was the tall, lanky one who I saw shirtless on a promo with red-eyed Dakota Fanning).
I was immediately questioned, “Really? Have you SEEN Jacob?” Little did they know that Jacob’s appearance was exactly the reason why I had not chosen him. You see, Jacob’s character is played by Taylor Lautner, who is 18 years young in real life. Robert Pattinson who plays Edward, on the other hand, is 24 years old.
I explained that any guy whose mom is closer to my age than he is qualifies as off limits. I am not ready to be a cougar. I will not go there. Plus, Edward looks taller. And I stand 5’9” which means most cute Hollywood leading men are small enough to be bounced on my knee and then kissed on the forehead before I tuck them into bed.
Don’t even get me started on Top Gun. My sister snuck me into that movie when I was 10 years old and I instantly fell in love with Tom Cruise (pre-Scientology). Then, in college, I realized the guy is a whopping 5’7.” When you look up “false advertising” on Wikipedia, you should be shown a movie clip featuring Maverick and Goose playing sand volleyball. Seriously.
I guess my point is that I feel every woman – whether a mom or not – has a certain type of man that you gravitate toward. How many of you keep a short list of unattainable guys who your significant other would allow you to kiss if you ever had the opportunity? I bet that some of you like the older, more distinguished leading men. (How are you Braveheart fans feeling now about the not-so-hot Mel Gibson? Blegh!)
So leave a comment about your top three celebrity heartthrobs, their ages and your rationale for including them on your list. I will offer mine up to get us started:
1. Bradley Cooper, 35, because he is smoking hot and hilarious (I feel like he is probably a total player, though, and would use me and then leave me … but I honestly wonder: Would I care?) Six-feet tall, even better.
2. Robert Downey, Jr., 45, because I think he is one of the wittiest, most talented actors of our generation. And my boys would dig the fact that Mom kissed Iron Man. Mom would love the 5’10” actor to wear his costume to impress me.
3. Chris Daughtry, 30, because his voice rocks my world. And how cool would it be to have a musician write a song about me? “Amazon Heidi” comes to mind as a potential title, as I believe he stands about 5’8” short.
Heidi Woodard is married with three children. She works full-time.